Scene 1-1

Characters

• Diana
• Alan Paul Smith

INT. ALANS FLAT, BIRMINGHAM - DAY

SFX: A SOFT CAT MEOW, TV PROGRAMME ON IN THE BACKGROUND

ALAN
Yes mittens, I see you.

SFX: CAT PURRING IN THE BACKGROUND

ALAN
You've had dinner, you greedy bugger.

SFX: LOUD BANGING ON THE DOOR

DIANA
(shouting)
Open the door!

ALAN
(startled)
Hold your horses.

SFX: THE DOOR BREAKING AND BOOTS RUSHING INTO THE ROOM

DIANA
(commanding)
Freeze! Put your hands up, don't move.

SFX: DRAWING OF GUNS

ALAN
Wha?? What the hell?

SFX: SOMEONE BEING RUSHED, BUNDLED TO THE FLOOR AND HANDCUFFED

DIANA
Are you Alan P. Smith?

ALAN
(muffled)
Yes.

DIANA
Did you two weeks ago post on StraightSpace that you were and I quote "feeling queer"?

ALAN
(muffled)
It was a turn of phrase.

DIANA
Yes, a phrase that has been outlawed. You're coming with us.

SFX: ALAN BEING PULLED TO HIS FEET

ALAN
What? Where are you taking me?

DIANA
Rehab, you're off to the island.

SFX: BEING BUNDLED INTO A VAN, DRIVING OFF.

FADE OUT.