Scene 1-4
Characters
INT. RECREATION ROOM, REHAB FACILITY
SFX: VARIOUS VOICES ARE TALKING INCOHERENTLY MEANWHILE "MUZAK" IS BEING PIPED IN.
DIANA
You are here until seventeen hundred then you'll be shown to your room. Make yourself comfortable.
ALAN
(mumbled)
Fine...
SFX: A CHAIR BEING SCRAPED ON A HARDWOOD FLOOR, FOLLOWED BY A BODY SLUMPING IN IT.
JANET
(cautiously)
Heya, new arrival?
ALAN
Yeah, they picked me up this morning.
JANET
Oh yeah, what kinda of offence?
ALAN
I used the phrase
(gets cut off as Janet places a hand over his mouth)
JANET
Are you mad? Don't tell me what you actually did, just the grade, they are constantly listening.
ALAN
(confused)
Grade 2?
JANET
Ah, that's not too bad, first time here then huh?
ALAN
(confirming grunt)
JANET
My names Janet, I'm what they call a serial offender.
ALAN
Alan.
JANET
Well Alan, let me give you some friendly advice. If you want to get out of here quickly you'll obey the rules.
ALAN
Do you know where we are?
JANET
The island.
ALAN
You mean Ireland?
JANET
No, this is their rehab facility, I think it's based off the south coast.
ALAN
You mean it's the Isle of Wight, but that was abandoned years ago.
JANET
Not abandoned Alan, taken over by the Government and turned into a massive rehabilitation facility. No way off, a bit like Alcatraz.
ALAN
That explains a lot. How long have you been here?
JANET
Me? A week so far but this is probably my 10th time here.
ALAN
Wow... That's a lot.
JANET
Not total, that is just this year.
ALAN
Sheesh.
JANET
Yep. There is plenty of time for me to tell you about my life story but why not come over and meet some people.
ALAN
That would be nice thank you.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS AND CHAIRS BEING MOVED ACROSS A CLINICALLY CLEAN FLOOR.
JANET
Alan, meet some fellow offenders. This is Amy, Brad, and Felix. Guys meet Alan, a grade 2.
AMY
Hey.
BRAD
Wotcha
FELIX
Hi.
ALAN
Hello.
BRAD
You too huh, what was it? A passing comment? Calling a friend a name?
ALAN
I posted something on StraightSpace.
BRAD
(laughing)
Ha, you idiot. You should know they monitor that. I shouldn't be here, they have no evidence.
JANET
You called a bricklayer the G word.
BRAD
Well... Fuckhead was ducking out on boys night. The wanker, wanted a glass of water. What a Gaybo.
SFX: TASER BEING ACTIVATED
BRAD
(sounds of being tased)
JANET
Brad here is our resident potty mouth, he was supposed to leave two weeks ago but he can't seem to stop using words he shouldn't.
ALAN
That explains the collar.
AMY
Aye, he just cannae learn his lesson.
ALAN
What about the rest of you?
AMY
I wis found indulging in what they call carnal pleasures south of the border.
ALAN
Sorry, what do you mean?
AMY
We went bumper to bumper in her car. Lesbian
ALAN
You crashed her car?
BRAD
No you idiot. She probably means that she went down on her like the lezzer...
(cut off)
SFX: TASER BEING ACTIVATED
BRAD
(sounds of being tased)
ALAN
I see, what about you? Felix was it?
FELIX
I'm innocent...
AMY AND BRAD
(laughs)
AMY
You're about as innocent as I am.
FELIX
I was providing a service.
BRAD
I would not call, noshing off a politician really innocent. Especially when they caught you with his cock...
SFX: TASER BEING ACTIVATED
BRAD
(sounds of being tased)
Fuck this, I'm going for a fag.
SFX: TASER NOISES AND BRAD COLLAPSING TO THE FLOOR MAKING GURGLING NOISES
FADE OUT